Monday, January 21, 2013

The Bad old Duke of Blankety-Blank



The Duke of Romney's past as a smuggler and his recent murderous ride out of London is now being remembered by the bards of taverns and Inns throughout the city.


The bad old Duke of Blanketty-Blank is an evil little man;
He has no redeeming features, none at all.
His face is ugly as sin, you need a box to put it in,
And in his boots he stands just sixty inches tall.

He’s the Master of telling lies – he pulls the wings off flies –
His evildoing knows no curb nor bridle
The devil finds work for idle hands, as ev’ryone understands,
But from the Devil’s work the Duke is never idle.

He connives with the smugglers, schemes with the wreckers,
He rides with the Excise Men as well.
Bringing contraband ashore, he takes the wreckers’ score,
Then with troopers he rides them all down into Hell.

There is no evil he will shrink at; no crime that he will blink at;
His Grace has neither conscience nor scruple:
As his accomplices swing, and dance the Hangman’s Fling,
He boasts that Beelzebub’s his willing and able pupil!

But his evillest crime of all, as seen by great and small,
Was to plot the murder of our true born King.
May his crimes lie unforgiven, his bloated corpse rot unshriven,
For the Duke has never compassed one good thing.

The lowly worm find haven; a repast for the raven;
My His Grace perform Good Works in his decease.
But his soul be sport of Devils, ‘midst diabolic revels.  
May the Duke never ever Rest in Peace.

With the utmost thanks to the Archduke Piccola for his
creative skills and good humour.

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